the forever journey of a raggamuffin

looking back..

2010-10-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

understanding.. knowledge.. to be affected.. changed as a person.. to have a deep sense of community.. to be stretched in faith.. there are many reasons why i did trek.. why i went to bible college. there's also many reasons why i've stayed.

looking back at the past three years of my life, a lot has happened. a lot of maturity.. growth has taken place. there's been victory, there's been defeat. there have been times of stagnant complacency where my soul was found in the midst of the dead of winter.. coupled with times of phenomenal growth where life was renewed, where life was abundant, where the flowers of cherry blossoms burst forth into a brilliantly vivid display of springtime life.

over these next few days, my desire is to share these stories.. stories of encouragement.. of conviction.. of joy.. of sorrow. stories that ultimately point to and reflect the glory, mercy, faithfulness, love, compassion and grace that is given by and embodied in Jesus Christ.. to share with you the mighty works of God, in my own life and experience, up to this point.

but before we go there, i wish to take us here. this week i was convicted. i was reminded of this.. the centrality of Christ. how so often i get caught up in the movements of life.. in the work of studying the spoken word of God that i forget who it speaks of. Jesus! Colossians 1:15-23 is an amazing passage that i've been brought back to time and time again. Jesus is God. He is before all things.. sustainer of all things.. creator, ruler of all.. preeminent. yet He is the head of the church.. He is forgiver, sanctifier, redeemer. our God.. yet our redeemer. our Lord.. yet the healer. our King.. yet our Saviour. He is everything.

let's remember this throughout the daily struggles of life. while we seemingly waste away the day participating in the mundane things of life. when we get the opportunity to share in something exciting.. encouraging.. life giving. amidst the suffering and hard times. let us always be reminded that Christ is everything. that the gospel is key. let us never forget the gospel.. the good news of who Jesus is and what he is to us.

"For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him" Colossians 1:19-22

time for a change..

2010-08-15T19:14:00.001-07:00

a period... a time... for everything in life there is a season. a season of joy followed by a season of sorrow. a season of trial followed by a season of ease... of victory coupled with defeat. of stagnant complacency after a time of great growth. our lives are characterized by these moments, by these seasons... and though we get caught up in the middle of life and often forget to reflect on the now... to reflect on where we're headed... on who we're becoming... i find it good to look back... to reflect on what was... so that we may with more clarity look to and see what is and is to come. i today find myself in a season of change... a time where i have no real clue as to where i'm headed or why... yes there's the plan... yes there's the vision... yes there's movement towards a goal but how that goal might change or how the path will twist and turn along the way is a mystery... a surprise... a treasure that i look forward to discovering one step at a time...

as the journey continues and goes on i ask that you take this moment to reflect... reflect upon where God has taken you this past year... how He has provided for you... how He has given and how He has taken away... take this moment to reflect on all that is and was your past so that in this season you may see with clarity the picture that is the present... to see how who you've been has shaped who you've become... that you may see with clarity the vision that is the future... to see how who you are is moving you towards who you are to be...

*more to come on my past year and the year to come...*

a city visit..

2009-03-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

we recently took a trip into the downtown core of sao paulo where i was able to experience first hand the immensity of this city. after visiting the city like we did i now have a better understanding of the tremendous need for this camp i call home. we walked around town.. visiting a bunch of different places.. but the big stop was one of the large skyscrapers of the city which you could climb to see a panoramic view of the entire city. it was breathtaking to say the least.. it wasn’t beauty which i saw but yet.. it was amazing. building after building in every single direction.. as i stood up there i was able to see the desperation of this place.. where there’s millions upon millions of people who have not even heard about the love of Jesus Christ.. as i looked over this concrete forest of civilization gone awry i comprehended the need for a camp in the jungle.. the need for a camp to get people out of the city, into creation, to meet with their Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.. to be equipped to enter back into the city, and share the love of their God with so many who can not even fathom something more than what their life entails.. so many who lead a lost life.. not really moving towards anything but not really moving backwards either.. just living.. a busy yet stagnant life. this is the reason for building a camp.. this is the reason why we’re here..

the beauty of simplicity..

2009-02-26T02:49:00.000-08:00

as february settles down and i think back about all that's happened over this past month, i am overwhelmed at the simplicity of life.. at the simplicity of how God works. this month has been another busy month.. it seems as though the longer we stay in brasil the busier life gets. we worked hard.. construction hard.. building stuff for the camp from the begining of february straight through until Carnaval where we hosted a retreat for the youth of the city. an intense time.. but simple. wake up in the morning.. do your devotions.. eat breakfast.. get to work.. eat lunch.. finish work.. go to the river.. eat dinner.. watch a movie/read.. go to bed.. a very simple day that repeated itself for half a month. but it was worth it. the camp we were working towards hosting was amazing.. this past week we hosted a carnaval retreat for the youth of the city. the goal was to get them out of the city and into God's creation.. oh and how we did that! we had many things planned but many things just didn't work out.. not to our plan but to God's. as i look back at it it was for the best. for God used nothing more than creation itself to bring people closer to Him. we had cold showers, we laughed, we worshiped, and we shared with one another.. it was an incredible time. i was amazed that so many people connected in the way that they did.. and even on the last few days when we lost all power.. when we couldn't even pump up water for the dishes or showers the brasilians loved it.. and it's for this reason that i write about the simple life.. about going back to simplicity.. where life is simple.. God is simple.. love is simple.. it's us that complicates it.. it's us that make things stressful.. that make things seem so out of control.. for really God is in control.. and simply put life'll happen the way that He's designed it.. even when we're bathing in a river in the middle of the jungle we know that God is moving and our Lord Jesus Christ is guiding us.. we must simply follow Him.. it's truly the beauty of simplicity..

purpose..

2009-02-26T02:18:00.001-08:00

a month in the south of brasil with 70 or so brasilians.. january was a crazy month. it was an incredible time of evangelism, worship, hundreds of people coming to the Lord. a truly amazing experience down south.. although i didn't understand alot of what was going on or couldn't contribute as much as i'd have liked.. God worked in me and in those i was around. over that month i constantly asked God what He wanted me to do in the south.. alot of the time i felt useless and i was confident God had a reason for me being on this project but why? it was incredibly hard at times as i'd spend the entire day feeling as though i accomplished nothing.. and i'd wonder why i was around the world to be just a spectator.. couldn't i have been a prayer warrior back home? but no.. God had a plan. a purpose.. and as our team gathered together at the begining of the last week and encouraged one another to keep going strong.. we prayed a few specific prayers.. one being that we'd feel used by Him the One who listens to our prayers. and over the next week God showed Himself faithful by bringing us to english speaking people who had been disallusioned by the church.. God used us to bring restoration to them.. He also raised up people serving alongside us on the project who'd been crazily affected by our presence.. brasilians who longed to be missionaries and follow God's call.. who for the first time saw that it was possible for people our age to leave everything they know and follow Christ to the ends of the earth.. God had a purpose and i'm just glad He showed it to me..

the battle of a lifetime..

2008-12-28T10:56:00.001-08:00

william wallace. this name alone is enough to bring a smile to the face of any man. the hero of the movie braveheart, he is a man among men. he embodies the fierceness, danger, and passion that men long to have. and as i’ve spent this past month pondering life in the midst of the jungle wild, i’ve just begun to fully grasp why. the God we serve.. our Saviour our King.. He has created us in His image and this image we as men carry is the image of our Commander.. our Chief in battle. He is strong and has been preparing me for a battle.. a great battle. the battle i speak of is not a battle against nations or people but against the spiritual.. against the demonic. it is a battle against the holds satan has in the lives of the people around us. it is a battle only the courageous will fight. it is a war that Christ has already won.. we are just the messengers. now why does all of this matter? because over this past month i’ve rediscovered so many of the passions God has put in my heart.. that for one reason or another have been suppressed during the length of my lifetime. yet God has used this time to reveal these to me once again. now what I do with them is up to me.. and i choose to keep them alive and growing. a passion for the wild.. to be in the heart of the jungle exploring areas away from civilization. a passion for adventure.. to be the hero. a passion for living.. to live life to the fullest, wherever God directs me. while i’m here in brasil i fight the good fight.. and i choose to use my passions and gifts for the glory of my Father.. to show not only the wildness of God to the brasilian people but the love of Christ as well. now as i head south on a month long missions trip to baje.. He prepares me for the battle of a lifetime.. the battle to free many souls from the bondage of satan.

in the words of william wallace, “sons of scotland.. you have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. and dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom.” couldn’t have said it better myself..

the most thundering time of year..

2008-12-28T10:52:00.000-08:00

christmas has always been one of my most cherished times of year. it’s that time where school’s out.. the food’s incredible.. and the songs are just flowing. it’s that time of year where the entire family takes time from their busy schedules to come together and celebrate the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. i can not stress how different christmas was for me in brasil. aside from God, family is the single most important thing in my life. and every year around christmas time we have a week or two filled with family gatherings. christmas eve is spent with one side of the extended family while christmas day is spend with the other. this year.. we had neither. christmas day was spent with 38 new friends most of which i’d never met before. christmas eve was spent with my adopted family. although it was good it wasn’t the same. i was missing my family.. friends.. and the snow in vancouver when God reminded me that He was there.. and even though friends and family are important God is the only constant in my life. He’s always been there and this christmas eve He comforted me in the strangest of ways. He made it rain.. it’d been the most beautiful of days. would work in the sun for half an hour to an hour and need a break or be devastated. in the evening i was sitting on the veranda looking over the jungle when the clouds came in.. they covered the entire sky and within minutes one of the most spectacular things i’d ever seen occurred. heat lightning. for seconds at a time red lightning would light up the sky. it would fly in horizontal shapes thru the clouds and light up the entire property. following this the most spectacular thunderstorm i’d ever experienced materialized. bright lightning shot across the sky lighting up the entire property as though it was day time. the wind was howling and the rain was pouring down in buckets. as everybody went inside i had no choice but to worship. i grabbed the guitar and praised my God with a ferocity i’d been missing over that past week. it was an incredible time of refreshment and remembrance of who my Saviour is and what He did and does for me.. as i remember that night i’m filled with joy and amazement at who Jesus is.. among so much more.. the only constant in my life..

welcome to the jungle..

2008-12-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

camp.. it's the almost perfect life. throw in the brasil factor and we've made it! about an hour drive out of the bustling city.. the camp we're working at is truly paradise. seated on the doorstep of the brasilian tropical rainforest, the jungle canopy is all you see for miles upon miles. it's gorgeous.. it's hot. the camp itself is in need of some major renovations. whatever buildings are still standing from this old ranch are on the edge of complete deterioration. the rest are just ruins dotting the hillside. it's a unique and beautiful landscape. with five dogs running around and one horse, with more on the way.. it's a true scene from south america. the forty acres of property that is the camp has such potential. it's awesome. and aside from the fun activities you can do in the jungle, such as vine swinging, running from hornets, jumping over rattle snakes, and picking ticks off your body.. all of which i've had the pleasure of experiencing thus far.. the camp will be a place to train brasilian pastors and missionaries.. to minister to their needs and equip people to be sent out either into sao paulo or elsewhere as God's hands and feet in this dark city and hurting world. it's exciting to be a part of and even thought we're here for a short six months i'm comforted by the fact that God has chosen us to be here for this length of time. i have no doubt He's going to use us somehow, he already has! and it's only been a week..

with this said, the camp very much mimics the city. just as the jungle paradise is side by side with the largest city in the world.. inside sao paulo the very rich live alongside the very poor. mansions sit right beside the favellas. all over the city there's sections of town that are shoddy shacks and apartments built on top of each other.. packed with people. often dangerous places you wouldn't want to go into alone or at night. today we had the privilege of walking through one as we picked up the favella kids for kids club at the church. it was incredible to be such a large part of these kids lives. it was a very special moment for me as we could barely communicate.. even with a translator. yet there was this bond and just immense love between us. we were sharing prayer requests during the teaching time and each one of the kids asked to pray for their family, friends, and new friends as they put their arms around us. it was touching to have been able to connect with these kids, who literally have nothing, after spending just a few hours with them. it's cool because they were some of the happiest, funniest, crazy but plain old fun kids i've ever met. and my prayer is that thru showing them God's love which i can feel pulsing thru my veins for them.. that i may be as much of a blessing to them as they've been to me.

i think i'm going to like it here.. and i think the time we spend with the favella kids will be my favourite..

it's in the blood..

2008-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

ola mi amigos!!!

i write to you from the grand city of Sao Paulo.. the land of endless skyscrapers, no traffic rules, and amazingly fresh, incredible fruit.. the place where everyone, even those you've never met, greet you with a holy kiss. i've arrived! after almost a week in brasil, and our first real full day immersion into the culture here, i have decided that i truly love brasil. the culture reminds me of my family.. of the closeness and love that resounds between us all. i now clearly understand why my father and his family are the way they are, having lived in Paraguay for quite some time. i can now see those same traits of closeness, touch, love bubbling through me even more than before.. and it's awesome! i feel like i'm home.. i feel like i belong.. and now that i'm here i know that these next six months will fly by. it's a shame.. but i'll cherish every minute of it.

a stupefying kind of grace

2008-11-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

amazing grace how sweet the sound.. that saved a wretch like me..
as i sit here in a dim dusty east vancouver attic i'm reminded of how often those words have spoken such relevance into my life. i'm reminded of how God's amazing grace saved me and brought me out of a dark dank place alot like this attic i now call home.. i'm reminded of how i could never do this thing called life alone but because of God's incredible love He is with me every step of the way.. and as i sit here reflecting on all that's happened these past two and a half weeks i'm reminded to be thankful for all the blessings my God.. my Saviour has bestowed upon me in this life and the next..

for two and a half weeks the salvation army building on 1st and commercial has been my home. we've been living in a dimly lit attic.. helping out with whatever we can. we've mostly helped out with the youth programs here at New Beginings Baptist Church. and as off the wall and just plain crazy these kids are i've come to love them tremendously.. they've come from such destructive places that i can't help but have a heart that burns for them.. by walking up and down commercial street either hanging out with some youth, soaking in the life, or praying for this city.. God has opened my eyes to the world.. Jesus has shown me what He Himself saw as He walked the streets of Israel.. my eyes have been opened to what is a broken, dirty, hurting, evil, rotten world.. but all i can.. all i want to do is show this city how much God loves them. to bring Jesus Christ to the homeless and poor of this city.. to fit as many of these hurting youth into my arms as possible and give them a big squeeze from God.. but most of all to see a revival started in Vancouver that comes from of an uprising of Christ followers in the community of 1st and commercial.. it may seem impossible but God can do it! i believe this.. i have to believe this.. i haven't any other choice.. if He couldn't how could i still follow Him? but like the Gleaners cut away the rottenness of an apple to reveal a beautiful fresh fruit.. God does the same with us. i've seen it in my life.. i've seen it in the lives of people down here.. join me in praying for this people.. in praying for this city.. and let's watch God make new what society won't even look at..

i hitched a ride.. i was a beggar.. i had murder on my hands.. i needed water to rinse these stains.. but only blood could remove what's spillin'.. and pardon me the blame.. hallelujah grace like rain falls down on me.. hallelujah all my stains are washed away.. they're washed away..

eagle mountain 1.. andre 0..

2008-11-08T13:13:00.000-08:00

this morning is a metaphor of my life at this moment.. i decided that after over a month of no real physical activity, it was time to start running again. and what do i do? i tackled the mountain of eagles i am currently residing on.. from peak to base to peak was my goal.. and when i reached the base and realized just how far up i actually needed to run.. and realized that the rain was coming down that much harder.. i laughed to myself. because for the first time in a long time i'd found myself biting off more than i could chew. so i laughed and turned off the tunes and just stood there.. stood there soaking in the beautiful refreshing rain.. soaking in the beautiful view from halfway up the mountain.. but more than anything soaking in the beauty of God and the way he continually teaches and shows me things. this past week's been different.. it hasn't been bad.. i've actually enjoyed it alot but it's been wierd in that i'm not in trek training anymore yet i'm not on mission somewhere around the world.. but today the theme of waiting and training has come up once again like it has so many times these past few days. and as i stood drenched in the crisp morning rain i relished in the fact that wherever i'm at today.. whatever i'm doing right now is preparing me for wherever i go tomorow.. just as a marathon runner trains months in advance for the big run.. i'm training for whatever big race is to come, so that when it comes i'm ready for it.. so here i go, one step at a time, training for the next event.. training for the day eagle mountain is conquered by yours truly..

and i'll let my words be few..

2008-11-02T10:05:00.000-08:00

as i sit here on the bed, my mind races a million miles a second.. so much has happened these last few days that i don't know how to start processing it all.. but as i sit here thinking about life, love and happiness God puts a specific song in my heart.. a song that slows down the mind and reminds me to just stand.. just stand in awe of Jesus, my Saviour.. as nothing else really matters! so now as we leave behind everything we've known over these past two months.. as we miss our trek family who we say 'see you later' to.. we continue to see the workings of our sovereign God and we decide to push all else aside.. and stand in awe of You.. so i'll let my words be few.. Jesus i am so in love with You..

the blind leading the blind..

2008-10-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

i write this next entry in complete humility and utter vulnerability.. over this entire TREK experience i've had no idea what i was heading into or where i was heading to. everything that's made sense, everything that i've planned or has been planned for me has changed so many times over not just TREK but just leading up to this time that i honestly don't know what to think.

ultimately, my God is bigger than any obstacle i face, bigger than anything we as a team face, but sometimes He chooses to do things that to us.. doesn't make any sense. what i'm getting at is that God is unpredictable and has clearly shown that to me over this past year! plan after plan has been changed and flexibility has become synonomous with who i've been forced to become..

shortly into this TREK the teams were selected. i was stoked. at the end of october i was to head to brasil with 5 other amazing people! we connected in such a sweet way and just were pumped to get going. soon after we hit some bumps in the road.. we went from a team of 6 to a team of 5 to eventually a team of 4 with a whole bunch of things in between.. and it was tough. throughout the whole thing my team astonished me at the level of calm and just hopeful joy in everything. not once did our team experience conflict among one another. we were at times frustrated, scared, anxious but never did we take this out on each other. it was incredible..

God was and is at work though! we went from a team of 4 back to a team of 5 and finally returned to a team of 6! it was an awesome time and we were celebrating and joyful beyond belief. there was an awesome sense of just completion and readiness to get to brasil.. as a week and a half after being reunited as a team we were to head off! in the midst of a celebration God knocked us down a peg.. and another, at the time almost laughable, roadblock appeared. our visas had returned to the Mark Centre and wouldn't you know it? they'd all been stoutly denied.. well with the amount of confidence we had that God was to do amazing things with our team, strictly because of the immense opposition we've already been through, we kind of shrugged and went to bed! en la manhana was our attitude. meaning in the morning. so we left it..

the morning came and a van full of us departed on a journey of our own.. to downtown vancouver.. objective? sweet talk the brasillian consulate into accepting us and processing our visas within the next week! speeding up their normal processing time by 3 times the norm. an impossible task? not at all! God was on our side and we were positive that we'd leave visas in hand! after an hour of back and forth dialogue we left the embassy discouraged, dissapointed and completely exhausted.. not only did we not have our visas but hope of ever getting them diminished and we left that place feeling very helpless..

since that day, only yesterday, i am in a place of complete and utter vulnerability. as team leader of a team that's got no clue of direction.. the phrase, the blind leading the blind comes to mind.. it's never been so real to me. as i truly have no idea where this whole thing's going or what's going to happen.. and in this situation i am a blindman.. but being blind is a blessing in its own. because although the view is completely muddy God's view is completely clear. and through this i just need to continue relying on Him. and that's easy enough.. because i've got nothing else to rely on.. relying on self is no longer a possibility.. so in this i've learnt complete peace and in this i decide to completely entrust my life and my future to God.. as honestly.. i have no other choice..

true authority

2008-10-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

growing up in life.. authority, power has never been something i've desired.. on the other end real, true authority was something i'd never fully understood.. but this week i had my view on life completely turned upside down. i learnt about a type of authority found only in Christ. a type of power that we have access to through the Holy Spirit. but more than anything my life was revolutionized as i discovered a type of authority that just doesn't make sense.. it's so opposite than our world that i can't fully understand it.. yet i long for it.. it's the authority of service and in servanthood. living a life of serving and just being last is so different than this life of 'survival of the fittest' or this attitude of 'top dog' and so on. it's so different.. it's so attractive.. it's enthralling and has created a longing in my heart to be the last.. to serve.. but more than anything to not please this world or impress those around me for this place is so opposite than what God just.. is.. so with that i say my longing has become to obey.. to pursue.. my God, my Saviour, my Father and if that means i no longer please the people around me.. i can live with that. for there's so much more..

what? i knew that..

2008-10-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

the day we'd all been anxiously awaiting for finally arrived! the day we find out our teams and where we're going. now let me tell you this.. for a time leading up to this God had been working in my life in some pretty cool ways. and had been revealing things to me about what had to come and i just didn't know how to take it. i ignorantly and really unknowingly ignoring what He was saying! but to make it short, the morning we looked upon the piece of paper that would effect our entire next year of living.. i knew most of what i saw before i saw it! it's wierd, and crazy, but God had revealed to me, in preparation for, most of what i was to find out. crazy, but awesome! God's awesome..

a lesson learned..

2008-10-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

two weeks into it.. yet God's already done miraculous things. He's taught me about community, about love, about Himself but the most important lesson, the lesson of a lifetime, came straight from the Big Guy. i've gone through my life believing in God and accepting His free gift of salvation through the death of His Son, and our Saviour Jesus Christ. i've had relationship with Jesus and i've gone through tough times and i've gone through good times with Him! but i've never heard God speak. the second week into TREK training my world was rocked.. and it hasn't stopped being shaken since then.. we spent a week learning about the different ways God speaks to us. and through it all i realized that God's spoken to me my entire life i've just never listened! but one of the craziest episodes of my life up to this point came one quiet thursday night..

48 hours of silence.. a deathsentence to some.. a dream to others.. i went into that time excited to hear God's voice.. i went in with a list full of expectations. and to put it simply God met me where i'm at. and he exceeded all expectations. it was the very first night of a very intentional time put aside to connect with my Father. and we connected on a level never met at before. i didn't realize the power in connecting with God. and when i say connecting i mean truly connecting. to be lieing down in a completely dark room, focusing in on nothing more than the flickering flame of a candle, and to hear God say specifically to yourself words that you've been inwardly longing for for the entirety of your life is incredible. in the stillness of the night surrounded by a complete assurance of God's awesome presence, He met me and said the words 'well done good and faithful servant'. it was an amazing time and i just couldn't bring myself to believe this was from God. but as much as i pushed this from my mind it kept coming back and He very much moved me to tears. as this was what i, unknowingly, needed to hear most at that point in my life..

here we go..

2008-10-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

it's been a long year! out of highschool with no clue what in the world i'm going to do. spent a year floating around.. took some college courses here.. installed some hardwood floors there.. a pretty dull uneventful year. aside from the friendships formed it could almost be taken as a waste.. so the anticipation of an exciting new place in the fall was enthralling. it was captivating! i had my heart set on learning about God while taking in the beautiful Sequoia National Forest mountain life of Hume Lake, California at the Joshua Wilderness Institute.. but after strong visa denials by the american embassy and consulate i knew that, hey, this can't be God's plan for me right now! it was dissapointing, crushing even, but it made sense and through some more difficulties and just seemingly open doors slamming in my face, God directed me to TREK.. and so goes the story of my life. another chapter about to begin..

two months in...

2008-10-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

who knew? who knew this day would come. a beautiful fall afternoon where i, in the beauty of my surroundings, am unable to imagine being anywhere else at this point in my life. i definitely didn't see this coming.. i definitely don't see what's next.. but i'm most definitely home. at least for now.. so read away! and come join me on this journey called life...